Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Childrens Logic -The Mum Test!

THE MUM TEST
I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
'Why?' my daughter asked.
Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs,' I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Mum, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.'
I was thinking quickly and replied, 'All mums know this stuff. It's on the Mum Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mum
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
Oh....I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.'
Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Best Friends Are Never Left Behind!

 A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble... At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.. 'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up. 'The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
 
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
 
'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.
 
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.


When they were full, he and the dog walked
back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.' 




Thank you for stopping by, you are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime!


Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Excercise for the over 50s


Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room
at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from
your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full
minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit
longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you
can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for
more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

How Many do YOU Remember?

Reading below flooded me with memories as I was there for most of these, if not all!

 'What was your favourite  'fast food' when you were growing  up?'
'We  didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I  informed him.
'All the food was slow.' 
'C'mon, seriously.. Where did you eat?'
  'It  was a place called 'home,'' I explained. !
'Mum  cooked every day and when Dad got home from work,  we sat down together at the dining room table, and  if I didn't like what she put on my plate, I was  allowed to sit there until I did like  it.'

By  this time, the youngster was laughing so hard I was  afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to ask permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I'd figured his system could have handled it:

Some  parents NEVER owned their own house, wore jeans,  set foot on a golf course, travelled out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. I had to walk or sometimes if it was wet, caught the bus.Some luckier kids had nice slow chunky bikes.
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 8.
It was of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at 10 pm, after playing the national anthem and epilogue; it came back on the air next day at noon, and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people...

I  never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure the people you shared it with down the road weren't already using the line.

Pizzas  were not delivered to our home... milk was.
All  newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys  delivered newspapers....my
brother  delivered a newspaper, seven days a week. He got up at  6am every morning.

Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least,they did in the films. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity,violence or almost anything offensive.

It's all true!

Monday, 31 January 2011

Fable of the Porcupine!

Fable of the porcupine 
It was the coldest winter ever. -  Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm.  This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.  After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.  They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.
 Moral of the story: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

Thursday, 6 January 2011

A Glass of Milk!

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water! . She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?"

You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."

He said
... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his
eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was
won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge, and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words ...

"Paid in full with one glass of milk"

(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You,
God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the water comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time.  If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?